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2006-04-13 - 16:49 Know what I did today? I paid my bills. I paid all of my utilities and two magazine subscriptions. This may not sound like a lot, but I was never, ever able to do that when I was married. I have less money now--a lot less, but I have budgeted what I have and I know all the checks I wrote will clear. This is the only thing I ever wanted from Jeremy. He didn't fail me in the big, bad ways that some husbands fail their wives, but he made paying the gas bill a traumatic event. Now it's just a task. It will be good for me to be alone for a while. I feel like I depend too much on Lincoln, though. He buys gas, he buys dinner...he's never paid my rent or utilities or bought me groceries, but he is still supporting me to some degree. Maybe it's just my way-too-independent side saying that. People buy things ofr each other sometimes, that's just the way it works. But I wish I could reciprocate, at least just a little.
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